Steven Seagal: Lawman rides back into town for a THIRD time. For Reelz.

Steven Seagal, yes that's right, Steven Seagal is back on the streets in what might be his best role to date, that of a LAWMAN.

The American cable channel REELZ (which, at this point, needs to change its name to "The Steven Seagal channel") has acquired the rights to the entire show's run, including the "lost" third season, and will begin airing seasons 1 & 2 this year with a view to the big season 3 premiere in January of 2014.

Sadly though there will be no more Seagal and Johnny antics in season 3. After some legal issues halted production of season 2 in Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, Season 3 was started up in Seagal's current law enforcement stomping ground, Maricopa County, Arizona under the watchful eye of "America's toughest sheriff" Joe Arpaio. This is where the alleged puppy killing by a tank while breaking up a possible cockfighting ring ensued (you couldn't come up with that if you tried). More legal issues that would basically encourage the A&E channel (original producers of the show) to not air the third season of, what should have been, at this point called, "Steven Seagal in trouble with the law, man"

Johnny or not, I for one will be tuning in to this series and savouring again the wonderful lunacy of Seagal's philosophising, Seagal O'Vision and finding out what other skills and occupations this man has been accumulating over the last 40 years.

Also Reelz has the option to make more if they want so even season 3 might not be the last we see of this endlessly weird and wonderful series.

- The Kick Ass Kid

Steven Seagal will not be sued over using TANK to break up an alleged cockfight

Yes it's news of everyon'e favourite cop, mr. flappy hands himself, Steven Seagal!

Apparently Sheriff Joe Arpaio and "Lawman" Steven Seagal are not going to be sued by a Jesus Llovera who was claiming the Sheriff's Office had raided his house just to get publicity for Seagal's reality (comedy) show.

Basically the plaintiff, Jesus Llovera didn't respond to the judge's orders to further the case and so it was all dropped. I am sure Seagal is mopping his tanned, wrinkled, fatty, sweaty forehead in relief.

"Thank god for that Johnny, I thought they'd have my flappy hands bang to rights"

Llovera's also accused MCSO and Seagal of possibly murdering a puppy, sadly a claim that didn't show up in this lawsuit.

According to the lawsuit, in addition to Seagal and his camera crew, MCSO brought along an armored tank, "at least" 30 deputies in "full riot gear," "ear-crushing diversionary bombs," and other stuff while ramming the gate to his property and smashing all the windows -- in full view of the cameras -- on their way in to arrest Llovera on a cockfighting charge.
Which seems perfectly ok to the Doc and me. Men fighting with their penises in public must be stopped at all costs. Especially by Seagal in a tank! Clearly Mr.Llovera didn't realise that is the only vehicle Mr.Seagal can now travel in due to his expanding girth.

MCSO said this raid was nothing out of the ordinary. Which means they often used heavily armoured vehicles to pretect the sanctity of a chicken's miserable life. Nice to know.

I like to believe that after the law suit was dropped Steven Seagal went round to Mr.Llovera's house and laughed in his face while enticing the chickens away from him through the power of his buddhist electric guitar playing techniques.

Come with me chickens if you want to live