Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Steven Seagal will not be sued over using TANK to break up an alleged cockfight

Yes it's news of everyon'e favourite cop, mr. flappy hands himself, Steven Seagal!

Apparently Sheriff Joe Arpaio and "Lawman" Steven Seagal are not going to be sued by a Jesus Llovera who was claiming the Sheriff's Office had raided his house just to get publicity for Seagal's reality (comedy) show.

Basically the plaintiff, Jesus Llovera didn't respond to the judge's orders to further the case and so it was all dropped. I am sure Seagal is mopping his tanned, wrinkled, fatty, sweaty forehead in relief.

"Thank god for that Johnny, I thought they'd have my flappy hands bang to rights"

Llovera's also accused MCSO and Seagal of possibly murdering a puppy, sadly a claim that didn't show up in this lawsuit.

According to the lawsuit, in addition to Seagal and his camera crew, MCSO brought along an armored tank, "at least" 30 deputies in "full riot gear," "ear-crushing diversionary bombs," and other stuff while ramming the gate to his property and smashing all the windows -- in full view of the cameras -- on their way in to arrest Llovera on a cockfighting charge.
Which seems perfectly ok to the Doc and me. Men fighting with their penises in public must be stopped at all costs. Especially by Seagal in a tank! Clearly Mr.Llovera didn't realise that is the only vehicle Mr.Seagal can now travel in due to his expanding girth.

MCSO said this raid was nothing out of the ordinary. Which means they often used heavily armoured vehicles to pretect the sanctity of a chicken's miserable life. Nice to know.

I like to believe that after the law suit was dropped Steven Seagal went round to Mr.Llovera's house and laughed in his face while enticing the chickens away from him through the power of his buddhist electric guitar playing techniques.
Come with me chickens if you want to live

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