Thursday, January 31, 2013

New Photos show Stallone and Kim Basinger on Grudge Match set in New Orleans park

Yes, unstable, blond, ageing, 80s sexpot Kim Basinger co-stars with Stallone and De Niro in the new film Grudge Match, from Get Smart director, Peter Segal.
The film is a rom-action-com about two old boxer guys getting back into the ring after 50 years.
I personally cannot wait to see De Niro and Stallone spa again after Copland, especially as I am really loving old guys doing action lately.
Someone give Albert Finney's character from Skyfall a spinoff NOW!

I am sorry what my pal Statham did to you in Cellular but bros before hos Kim!

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Stallone talks Bullet To The Head, Rocky and Grudge Match

Sean Penn to play a Terrier in Taken Director's Prone Gunman

According to the Hollywood Reporter, and who are are we to doubt them, Pierre Morel, the director of awesome Liam Neeson action vehicle 'Taken', is planning to direct Sean Penn in Prone Gunman, which we can all agree is a really silly name for a film.
This will be an action thriller from Silver Pictures’ Joel Silver and Andrew Rona.
Based on a Jean-Patrick Manchette novel and a script by Peter Travis (we are hoping they don't mean Roilling Stone magazine's Peter Travis as he is a weasley hypocrite bag of dicks).

The story will be all about an international operative (operative of what it doesn't say) named Martin Terrier who is betrayed by the organization he works for and must go on the run across Europe.
As long as he does so indiscriminately shooting people in the face, nailing metal spikes through their thighs and electrocuting them, headbutting foreigners and scaring children with his ridiculously crumpled face and bulbous nose then consider us a tad excited about this.

Who, then, is excited to see Penn, no stranger to the odd violent outburst in a film but hardly what you call an 'action star' go the Neeson route and become an over 50 ass kicker?

"Silver and Studio Canal, which is fully financing the picture, are looking at a spring 2013 production start in several locales across Europe."
I maybe a Terrier but I am nobody's bitch

Steven Seagal will not be sued over using TANK to break up an alleged cockfight

Yes it's news of everyon'e favourite cop, mr. flappy hands himself, Steven Seagal!

Apparently Sheriff Joe Arpaio and "Lawman" Steven Seagal are not going to be sued by a Jesus Llovera who was claiming the Sheriff's Office had raided his house just to get publicity for Seagal's reality (comedy) show.

Basically the plaintiff, Jesus Llovera didn't respond to the judge's orders to further the case and so it was all dropped. I am sure Seagal is mopping his tanned, wrinkled, fatty, sweaty forehead in relief.

"Thank god for that Johnny, I thought they'd have my flappy hands bang to rights"

Llovera's also accused MCSO and Seagal of possibly murdering a puppy, sadly a claim that didn't show up in this lawsuit.

According to the lawsuit, in addition to Seagal and his camera crew, MCSO brought along an armored tank, "at least" 30 deputies in "full riot gear," "ear-crushing diversionary bombs," and other stuff while ramming the gate to his property and smashing all the windows -- in full view of the cameras -- on their way in to arrest Llovera on a cockfighting charge.
Which seems perfectly ok to the Doc and me. Men fighting with their penises in public must be stopped at all costs. Especially by Seagal in a tank! Clearly Mr.Llovera didn't realise that is the only vehicle Mr.Seagal can now travel in due to his expanding girth.

MCSO said this raid was nothing out of the ordinary. Which means they often used heavily armoured vehicles to pretect the sanctity of a chicken's miserable life. Nice to know.

I like to believe that after the law suit was dropped Steven Seagal went round to Mr.Llovera's house and laughed in his face while enticing the chickens away from him through the power of his buddhist electric guitar playing techniques.
Come with me chickens if you want to live
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